I spy something boring

2009-11-11T20:41:00.000-05:00

While wrestling around with my children the other day, I stopped to grab a drink of water. (And to be honest, I had enough of playing Destructicons or whatever it was) As I drank my water I watched them continue on in their game. My son was using an old spatula as a tool on the end of the arm of a Transformer or some such thing, and my daughter followed his lead by using her toy baby carriage as 'wheels' for her tank. Her tank consisted of her sitting in her tiny baby stroller holding her left arm out as straight as can be to imitate a canon barrel. The tank became mobile by her yelling to her brother "go tank go" as he pushed her around the room in order to blow everything my wife and I had worked so hard to acquire to bits. "Boom, Boom, Boom, look at it burn brother!" she said with a kind of happiness that was slightly disturbing.

The role playing and imaginative use of everyday objects to suit the 'game' they were playing intrigued me. I began to think, "Where does that imagination go as we get older?", "Why does it go?", "Why does it go for some but not for others?" "Why does it seem that becoming a grownup takes the 'kid' out of us?" So, I examined my own thought processes and the things that utilize my brain capacity. I have to admit that it was depressing in many ways.

When I was younger I was quite a joker. I loved to make people laugh. Part of it was out of necessity as an awkward teen, but it was also part of my core being. I was the class clown. I loved taking two seemingly unrelated concepts and developing them into a "role play", then go out and enact my 'skit' on unknowing people. When they seemed confused or questioned what I was doing, I acted as if they were strange. I loved Michael Winslow from the Police Academy movies, and tried to make every sound or noise I could think of, just to make myself laugh. I did a lot of imitations and had great range with my voice. My Father used to say to me, "Son, you have a calling.".

Now, my brain is full of questions, responsibilities, and reminders. "Did I pay the heating bill?"; "I have to help my son with his homework later."; "What can I make for dinner?; "Did I wash my daughters gymnastics stuff?"; "Don't forget to drop off the dry cleaning for your wife." I dare say that no time is spent looking through the eyes of a joker anymore. The lack of laughter in my home is deafening to me, and is it sad and painful.

How do I manage to be a good Husband, Father, and Homemaker without being so damned grown up?

The Awakening of Dad...

2009-11-06T07:35:00.000-05:00

Here I am world, I am back! After 7+ years of solely being a Stay-At-Home-Dad, the shackles of constant parental responsibility have been cast aside. My children are now BOTH in school all day long, which means 6 1/2 glorious hours absent the ubiquitous cries of "Daddy I want... ; Daddy can I have a... Daddy why do you read on the toilet?"!!! I have to admit that I was not prepared for this type of freedom, I was quite conditioned to "life on the rock". My youngest was originally scheduled to attend for just a half day, but she did so well that we decided to keep her in for a full day of school. Thus, one year ahead of schedule, the old man has some serious time to himself. Just one problem, on the second day of my liberation I entered an eerily quiet house, looked around, and thought to myself, "Jeez, what the hell do I do now?"

My wife suggested that I search back to a time when I had dreams and aspirations as a singular adult entity, and discover which of those, if any, are still valid and attainable. I think her exact words were to the effect of, "You need to get off your ass and do something. Set some goals and chase them down. You've grown fat and lazy in your domestication, both literally and figuratively, and you need to regain balance in your life." That's not completely verbatim, but the general idea is quite accurate.

So in extremely short order I put together a plan, and have spent the last 6 weeks following it. First, I had to address the 'fat' part, and this is only done through diet and exercise. To accomplish that successfully, I had to address the 'lazy' part. Post it notes with motivational quotes, unflattering pictures in the pantry, and the constant memory of my youngest brother calling me the "Stay Puft Marshmallow Man" were among the strategies used. But mostly it was just plain old desire and motivation. I have since dropped over 20 pounds, and my wife had to remind me what 'ribs' are!

Second, I have always thought of myself as creative and as having some skill with the written word. And so, I have decided to embark upon a writing career. I will blog, I will write articles for local and national magazines, I will work on the great American novel! Well, we'll see about all that. But my first steps are to write constantly, to take classes/seminars to re-sharpen and gain skills, to network with other like-minded people, and most importantly, just put in work towards my goal of becoming a published author. (And making a couple of dollars here and there is ok too!)

So look out world! I am on the loose and loaded for bear. I will keep you posted...

Daddy Does It

I spy something boring

The Awakening of Dad...